Yesterday was day one of chemotherapy. I will receive three drugs, all on one day, every three weeks for six cycles. The infusion center I am using for the treatment is located in my oncologist’s office. When Peggy and I arrived we followed the signs to its temporary location in the basement while the regular center is being remodeled. There is something about descending to the lower levels, to a windowless room lined with recliners and iv poles, that reminds me of the belly of the whale where Jonah spent three days. That story happens to have been the reading for Mass on Monday, October 5. He ended up there because he fled from his prophetic calling. How many of us are equally reluctant to accept what we know God is asking us to do?
Jonah is a good companion for this new beginning of therapy for recurrent ovarian cancer. I have had many moments of reluctance to accept what God is asking of me. But in the end I am wanting to do what Mother Theresa recommends: “Give what God asks and receive what God gives, with a smile.” And I am not alone, neither in the belly of the whale nor when spewed up on the shore.
When I woke from my many little naps during the six hours I was receiving treatment, I saw that the other eleven recliners were filled and vacated by a steady stream of co-journeyers. Almost everyone but me was familiar to the nurses and the routine. From frail to robust, each one of us was seeking a return to wholeness in this small basement room.
Gratitude is the best medicine of all. It was what flowed into me as I drifted off to sleep with the pre-medication before receiving the chemotherapy. How grateful I am to be able to receive this treatment! How grateful for the loving community, family and friends who have been praying with and for me during the waiting time and who continue to this moment, lifting me up to God!
The second time around is less anxious. I know what to expect and how to be ready for it. I am taking it easy, letting the medicine do what it needs to do and allowing for the consequences that aren’t so pleasant. I have a lovely place to let this be a healing time for me.
I will be sharing this journey with those who would like to keep me company this way. I look forward to your comments and reflections. I learned the last time that people benefited not just from what I wrote but from what was shared by others. And so let us begin again!
We are praying for you Sister. Thank you for the blessings you’ve brought us. We look forward to your recovery and are with you in spirit.
Love you Janet! Praying that you continue to rest in His peace. Thank you for inspiring all of us. Rest well, my friend. Until we meet again. Ann
Janet – candles for you are back on my prayer table and praying for you everyday! Once again your entry blew me away. Gratitude in the midst of suffering…
Sending you love, prayers and the healing energy of water – from the bay and ocean! I am sure you can visualize it! Praying to Sister Blandina and Miriam Teresa for a miracle!
love Pattie
God speed you on your journey to good health, Sr. Janet. I am with you in spirit. But for the grace of God, I don’t think I would have endured my bout with breast cancer so well. I just let go and let God.
Janet, thank you for allowing us to accompany you on this journey. I did not know this news, and I pray that you continue to have strength to keep on going. Thinking of you and send good thoughts your way. Jeannette Bryson
May you be flooded with healing as God meets you in “the deep”.
Count on my prayers.
wrapping you with love my friend and praying to Blandina.
Janet, thank you for your beautiful reflection as you begin this next step of your life’s journey with such courage and hope in our loving God. I have and continue to hold you and all your companions on this similar journey close in healing prayer. Your gentle presence and smile is the best medicine of all and as you give this gift may you continue to recieve it as well.
Love you, Brenda
I am left in awe by your honesty and profound surrender into the hands of God. You continue to deeply touch my heart and spirit, Janet.
Janet, thank you for sharing your journey through this second recurrance of cancer. Your trust and letting go into the heart and mind of God is a walk, I believe, we are called to live over and over in many different ways. Know I walk hand in hand, arm in arm and heart to heart with you.
As you shared the presence of the others receiving treatment I thought of all those we know undergoing like treatment at this time. I raise them in prayer with you.
My sister, take good care and rest assured many of us are with you in Spirit, prayer and thought.
Chris
Janet, each of your blogs that I have read leave me feeling closer to you on this journey.
Always in my thoughts and prayers – your sister,
Fran
Thank you, Fran!
Your belly of the whale metaphor and rejecting God’s prophetic call are very keen insights for this time in your life. I continue to pray that each day brings its own type of healing in God’s good time and God’s good way. I am so glad you have some new companions for this leg of the journey (Denise, Romena, Whitney). Blessings and courage to all!
Claire
Sr. Janet, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. I have admired you from the first time I met you. I watched as you worked with all the children in Mexico and how they adored you. You have so much love to give, so just relax and let us share our love with you through our prayers and kindness. May our blessed Savior watch over you and comfort you during this hard time in your life. Hugs for you my friend!